to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
4 words: hood of his car
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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