But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
