Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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