my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
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He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
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Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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