i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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