Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
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