During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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