lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
