Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Damn victory sex feels great
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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