I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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