Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
