She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I stole a fireplace last night.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
