I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
God I need to hump something, right now.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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