well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
