I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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