Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
