The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize