Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize