do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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