i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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