Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
This is not my ceiling
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
