never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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