Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
