He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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