Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
