Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
