An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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