this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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