help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
