Don't make out with my wife yet
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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