i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize