so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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