last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
