these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
