She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
