My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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