I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
