Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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