Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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