Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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