so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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