I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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