I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
