sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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