Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
