How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
