In the future we'll all be gay
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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