and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
