Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
