I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
