hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
