It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
