Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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