it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
