I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
