um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
