you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
