it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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