Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
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i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Let's paint friendship bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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